Sunday, 18 January 2015

Ten Years In A Basement

Click to enlarge
(Pic : via Imgur)

I'd thought I'd try this thought experiment/game for a laugh. Everything's explained in the opening paragraph above.

To make things a bit easier I'll take the extra 5 points to spend, meaning I would exit with $5million instead of $10million.

I suppose the next step is to decide what things I definitely don't want or need. Satellite radio, stock market option (though if you invested it wisely you could come out with $10million+ anyway) and HD camera are gone instantly.

The internet is useless if you can't stream or download anything. I don't feel like having the workshop or train set. I don't smoke or do drugs and I'm not a big drinker either, so those three options are gone.

I'm more likely to be driven mad if there's somebody in there with me rather than spending the time alone, so the 18 year old, Barry Bonds and kitten/puppy are gone. I wouldn't need the mobile phone either. The pool table is pointless without someone to play against, and would get boring pretty quickly.

In terms of food options, living on microwavable food for 10 years, or an unlimited supply of fast food, would almost certainly lead to me coming out in a wooden box – do not pass go, do not collect $5million.

Gourmet food would be too rich and would probably lead to health problems by itself. Luckily I can cook so the only reasonable option here is the full kitchen and iPad of recipes (6 points).

In terms of maintaining health, you have the doctor, workout room and hygiene products.

Hygiene products is an obvious one to keep as I would fear what state I would be in if I were allowed to wallow in my own filth (3 points).

If you follow common sense rules, eat relatively healthily and get exercise there should be no reason for someone my age to need urgent medical care. Although the doctor's "cheaper" in terms of points, having a workout room would give me something to do (6 points).

Now the choices get a bit tougher. Skylight or greenhouse? I'm presuming a greenhouse would act similarly to a skylight and provide an opportunity for something to do some gardening (3 points).

18 points down with another 17 to spend on entertainment. Music, books, games or TV?

The books aren't reliant on spending points on another piece of technology so they're good to keep (4 points). I could probably sacrifice the games.

I presume choosing the unlimited DVDs will mean having to picking either the 52'' TV or the PC to play them on. The TV is kept because at least it means maintaining some contact with the outside world (7 points).

6 points left – music or every single TV show and movie. Has to be the films and TV shows (4 points), and if it's unlimited it presumably includes live music shows.

With 2 points left, I suppose I have to pick the satellite radio (2 points).

Sunday, 11 January 2015

Premier League 2014/15 Halfway Line

We've crossed the halfway point, so what does the 2014-15
Premier League tell us so far?
(Pic : via Twitter)

Overall Verdict. Consistently inconsistent. The usual problems with injuries, lack of squad depth in the right positions, an over-reliance on a few players and sheer bad luck. Considering the outlay during the summer there are no excuses. It looks like it's going to be a tough battle for a top four finish – perhaps the toughest since 2005/06. The one bright point is that there's the chance of a decent run in the Champions League.

I suspect Arsene Wenger and the board thought the FA Cup victory last season would've bought themselves a bit more time. Regardless of what happens, these are the twilight years of Wenger's tenure and it's time to think about succession.

Despite that, I'm in the AKB camp because of that old chestnut of not seeing anyone who could replace Wenger in the short-term. Jurgen Klopp is annihilating his reputation at Dortmund because he didn't replace Lewandowski – a very Wenger-like weakness. Arsenal fans will hope for a Guardiola or Simeone but will end up with a long-time Wenger protégé like Dragan Stojkovic or an unproven club legend like Dennis Bergkamp.

New Signings. Although David Ospina has played little, it's safe to say that Arsenal made good buys in the summer and the new guys have settled in well.

Alexis Sanchez has been a revelation and will feature amongst the best signings of the season. I shudder to think what things would've been like without him, but there's a danger Arsenal will become over-reliant on him like Thierry Henry in the past.

Mathieu Debuchy has been unlucky with injury (and dislocated his shoulder today) but has slotted seamlessly into the side without really excelling. Calum Chambers has played a lot of football for someone his age and is clearly a raw talent who's made a few mistakes but has a lot of promise.

Then there's Danny Welbeck. I was sceptical at first, but I've grown to like what he brings to the side. He has a poacher's instinct that reminds me of Ian Wright, but clearly needs to work on his finishing.

Best Performers.
Alexis, nuff said. Sadly, aside from him I'm struggling. Santi Cazorla, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Kieran Gibbs have impressed recently, while Aaron Ramsey has shown glimpses of what he did last season without reaching the same heights.

Even previously reliable players like Wojciech Szczesny, Per Mertesacker and Laurent Koscielny have been disappointing, and there's a clear need for proper defensive cover.

The League Overall
(Pic : Yahoo)

Player of the season (so far)

Chel$ki and Man City are the only teams that've really lived up to their potential this season.

As much as it pains me to say it, a certain former Arsenal player currently playing for deserves to be mentioned. Nemanja Matic and Diego Costa are obvious conclusions as well.

That doesn't mean I have to like it. Mourinho's like a gobby schoolyard bully who – to use the modern turn of phrase – "LIKES THE BANTZ". It's unquestionable that's he's a good manager, but it's not at all surprising that people who actively like Mourinho (who aren't Chelsea fans already) usually turn out to be a cunts too. He's a Pied Piper of Cunts.

Sergio Aguero, Jose Fonte and Alexis Sanchez are other obvious choices. David de Gea's got best goalkeeper sewn up and has rescued Man United on several occasions, while Fraser Forster is making a name for himself. Dark horse would be QPR's Charlie Austin.

Surprise packages (good)Southampton. Considering they started the season without a full first team, what Ronald Koeman has achieved there in such a short space of time is extraordinary. You've got to wonder where they would be right now if they had managed to keep hold of the likes of Gareth Bale, Theo Walcott etc. I wouldn't expect them to last the pace and finish top-four but I could see them putting up a strong fight and they'll be hard to shift.

West Ham haven't done too badly either and have the outside chance of a European place.
Spurs are usually game for a laugh too – stuffing Chel$ki one week, losing to Palace the next - but overall you've got to consider them top 4 contenders.

Surprise packages (bad)Liverpool. Considering what they came so close to doing last season, they've been a bit of a flop this year - especially in Europe, and especially considering the £120million or so Brendon Rodgers spent in the summer. Everton haven't exactly lived up to expectations either and you can sense the big club vultures circling Goodison Park.

Duff buys
- Arsene Wenger's new sleeping bag coat.